One thing about living on this planet as a human, that it
takes a while to realize, is that it isn't forever. I met John sometime over 60 years ago, I
think. When you've known someone for
that long, it's hard to remember the details of your meeting. I believe either Dave Buskness or John Ranney
introduced me to John when we were 8 or 9 years old. And I believe it was at Seventh Avenue
Baptist Church here in Council Bluffs.
But I can't swear to it.
Anyway. When most
people are 8 or 9, they have little or no concept of death, especially personal
death. John and Dave and John Ranney who
was a year younger than us, and Wink Longnecker, who was a year older, hung out
together through high school. It was in
high school that John and I grew close.
We became like brothers… so close that we even fought like
brothers sometimes.
Wink graduated first and wound up flying helicopters in
Vietnam. When John and I graduated, I
went on to college and John joined the Navy.
After college, I joined the Air Force and eventually found myself also
in Vietnam. It may have been around that
time that we first began believing in death.
John and I lost track of each other then for about a
decade. We both survived our military
stints -- so did Wink -- so the thought of death visiting us personally faded
from our consciousness.
When we reconnected, John and I were still drinking and
smoking. We did a lot of those over the
next few years. We were both living in
Iowa back then. We both married. In John's case a couple of times. :-)
I never met John's first wife, Ruth (until today) but I
loaned John $125.00 to buy her a ring.
There were a couple more wives, Wanda and Julie, and finally Penny. John was passionate about all his wives, but
Penny was the only one who stuck with him through thick and think. What love!
John got sober 33 years ago.
He was sober when he met Penny.
That may have something to do with their longevity. I quit smoking 12 years ago, so I was a
non-smoker when I met Sally. And that definitely played a role in our getting
together.
John met Penny through my first wife, Vicki. Penny and Vicki were friends in school and
had stayed in touch. Penny married John
on December 31, 1989, and that marriage lasted.
He finally got it right.
My marriage to Vicki ended less than 2 years after their marriage
began, and John stayed with me. I was
single for the next 19 years, but John always assured me that "she's out
there." John describes Penny as his
best friend. And, true to John's
prediction, I finally met Sally 8 years ago.
That's when I finally got it right.
Sally has become my best friend.
John and I lived in different parts of the country for the
last 30 years or so, but a couple of decades ago, we started hooking up around
Presidents Day. Which often was about
half-way between our birthdays: John's in late January and mine in late
February. It was mostly just John and
me. We did this to celebrate the
anniversary of our 50th birthdays. When
we got together, I would drink and John would smoke. We knew each other well enough that it didn't
jeopardize his sobriety or my smokefreeness.
We have rendezvoused in Vegas, Reno, Albuquerque, New Orleans,
and various other places. In 2000 we
went to Belize. John brought Penny and
his son Roy. I was single then, so I got
to room with Roy. Then in 07 we went to
Australia, with Penny and my then girlfriend Judy. She had taught school Down Under about the
same time I was stationed in Vietnam in 1972.
She showed us around her old stomping grounds. That's where this shirt I'm wearing came
from. It was the 10th anniversary of our
50th birthdays.
We had planned on getting together for our 20th, but John
ran into a problem with his arteries, and we had to postpone. Then, eventually, we had to cancel.
I did get to see him for our 21st anniversary, at his home
in Colorado. We went to Gunther Toody's. That's the last time I saw him alive. But I got to talk with him, laugh with him,
touch him. We'll resume our get
togethers someday.
I now firmly believe in death. But only as a gateway to a new life.
Rest in peace, John, my oldest best friend.
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